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There was definitely a way with my children’s father. We celebrated holidays and birthdays as we always had done, including inviting my ex mother-in-law. I think the I Love Really Rich Boy New Shirt was that there were enough people invited that it wasn’t just him, me, and the kids staring at each other. We’re also a family not noted for our drama; my mom couldn’t tolerate drama! We still do holidays together sometimes, even though the kids’ grandparents are all gone now, one child lives 1200 miles away, and another child has married and is always included with his in-laws’ family. (My new spouse and I are always invited to the in-laws’ gatherings as well; it’s a huge and friendly crowd!) My kids are in their mid-30s now, and they’ve learned to make holidays a cooperative effort as well, despite having some of the most complicated family structures you can imagine. The point is to make it about happy memories for the kids and not a time/place to rehash old wrongs.

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You can wear whatever you want, but remember: This is the office party. This is a Metallica We Don’t Give A Shit Philadelphia Flyers T Shirt of people with whom you work, so if you wouldn’t wear a revealing dress to work, don’t wear it to the office party. Also, don’t drink much you presumably know your limit, so stop well short of it. Because again—you work with these people. When I worked at TV Guide, senior staff regularly attended the Christmas parties, which (at least at the beginning) were lavish, usually held in off-site venues and allowed employees to bring spouses. You don’t want your boss’s boss asking who that was—the girl in the thigh-high bandage dress and hooker heels or the guy who threw up on the white-glitter sparkle Christmas tree. Women get the brunt of the judgmental post-party gossip about attire while men generally have to do something memorably bad, but I imagine a male manager showing up in gold lame hot pants would cause a stir in most business environments.

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