Washington Commanders Big Logo Ugly Christmas Sweaters

  

I remember a Washington Commanders Big Logo Ugly Christmas Sweaters memoir — Beasts, Men, and Gods — by Ferdinand Ossendowski, a White Pole who fled the Bolshevik revolution through Siberia. He served in General Kolchak’s All-Russian Government before escaping through the Steppes north of Mongolia, and then participated in the government of that most notorious adventurer, the “Mad Baron” Ungern-Sternberg, who attempted to take over Mongolia to restore an imperial Khaganate as part of an imagined reactionary restoration of the Great Mongol, Chinese, and Russian monarchies in the interests of the “warrior races” of Germans and Mongols (a Baltic German, he considered the old Russian ruling class to represent Germandom over and against Jews and Slavs). Some of the things – the acts of desperation and madness, in which he himself was no disinterested observer – Ossendowski relates are harrowing. But this part struck me as very much making a point about what people think of the Steppe peoples, and of what (German-trained) nationalists like Ungern-Sternberg did (and would do again) to the Mongols. And, other things:

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You can wear whatever you want, but remember: This is the office party. This is a Metallica We Don’t Give A Shit Philadelphia Flyers T Shirt of people with whom you work, so if you wouldn’t wear a revealing dress to work, don’t wear it to the office party. Also, don’t drink much you presumably know your limit, so stop well short of it. Because again—you work with these people. When I worked at TV Guide, senior staff regularly attended the Christmas parties, which (at least at the beginning) were lavish, usually held in off-site venues and allowed employees to bring spouses. You don’t want your boss’s boss asking who that was—the girl in the thigh-high bandage dress and hooker heels or the guy who threw up on the white-glitter sparkle Christmas tree. Women get the brunt of the judgmental post-party gossip about attire while men generally have to do something memorably bad, but I imagine a male manager showing up in gold lame hot pants would cause a stir in most business environments.

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